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PostSubject: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:34 pm

This is my interpretation after hearing a chinese song:

No where else to see or breathe
With these darkened eyes

Bowing down to broken mountains
Wishing for the clear blue sky

I remember the pleasure
Of your loving hand

The nuptial wind
Became this brightened sky

Come close to me
I want to see that sky again

When you walk away,
Thousands of rivers of tears
Creep down from my own eyes.
Brighten this darkened sky...

I walk alone
Waiting for your footsteps

Listening, wishing
For the sky.

Quote :
This is what mary said about the song when she shared it with me:

i love this song named ai wo hao ma, its chinese nd it means can i love u mainly about this girl tell this guy can he remember her after they break up nd stuff i think


Did i do a good job? (btw, i dont speak chinese. just listened and wrote)

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:41 pm

yup yup. congrats. appluase. cyber clap.

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:42 pm

aw, thanks Very Happy

btw, do u like writing poetry?

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:45 pm

i do. i did SW once. got third place, too.

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I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'
--andy warhol
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:47 pm

nice!! do u happen to have it online? Smile

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:47 pm

yesss......
well, kind of sort of.
like here?
or somewhere else?

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I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'
--andy warhol
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:48 pm

somewhere else is fine. may i read it? ^^ id love to share some of mine too

talk more on chatbox? Very Happy

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:50 pm

here, it's easier if i just post it...
mkie?

so here:

I am a victim

of the past and present.

Held captive in the lies of time.

A shadow the only thing guiding my movements,

constantly changing and moving.

The scientists deceive me,

pull me into their world of fiction.




I am a victim

of the lies and propaganda.

Of what others believe,

their influences encage me.

They crash every train of thought.

A thought of my own,

stolen from me by greed.




I am a victim

of terror and threat.

a constant dark cloud,

hanging and drenching.

the weight of the world tossed carelessly upon my shoulders.

centuries of mistakes,

cold wars and blood left to the young to mend.




I am a victim

of the envy and jealousy

that grips the country and shreds in person by person.

of the physical, mental and emotional alarms,

sounding within my head,

sounding within your head

only to be pushed down.




I am victim

of religion and corruption.

forcing me to believe in the utopia that is dead

a system of hierarchy,

manufactured, man-made.

always thirsting,

always lying.




Left fallen and confused.






I am a predator

of the weak and deceived.

I hunt to kill,

and scare

and swallow.

I trick and deceive,

contort the minds to me.




I am a predator

of the liars and thieves.

who steal from us our freedom and thought.

who slam abstract to concrete, smashing and grinding

away at our souls.

the darkness always providing mystery.

it will leave you dead.




I am a predator

of the masses.

They wander in the open, fresh for the kill,

easy to hunt.

Dictating our every thought,

for they are our every thought;

crushing the individual.




I am a predator

of all authority.

Probing and convincing,

making us choke down lies.

creating the image of power.

Instilling within us

that we can never survive.




Always tasting unmet destiny.




I am the icy wind.

either rotting or preserving,

I am both.

the icy, biting wind that chills your back.

I blind you and freeze you,

kill every ounce of hope,

so you see neither me or them.





I am nothing.

either leader or follower,

I am neither.

Swing me this way,

swing me that.

destroy any hint of originality, steal it right away.

Leave me be on my imaginary cloud nine.




I am the blank space.

that makes you shiver as you pass.

Molecules moving, too fast, too far… too invisible.

Lurking in the shadows,

either influence or thieve,

I am neither.

Trip into a black hole…




Nothing

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I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'
--andy warhol
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:55 pm

wow.


that is good.. really good. verbose, but not too elaborate~

also, the repetition of "i am a victim" will stay in the judges mind

me likey ;] lol

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 9:58 pm

haha, thanks. i wrote it three days before the tournament, then told mr.b i wanted to switch events. it was crazy.

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I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'
--andy warhol
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:00 pm

cool!

heyy, you know what they say. follow your heard. or that really loud voice in your head. lol

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:03 pm

if there's one thing i do, it's not follow heards.

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I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'
--andy warhol
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:04 pm

glad to hear it ;] Like a Star @ heaven

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:14 pm

bleh, mainstream, bleh.

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I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'
--andy warhol
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:56 pm

lol.

you'll be hearing a lot about mainstream in the upcoming school year.

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 10:58 pm

whyyyyy?

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I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'
--andy warhol
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Fri Jul 11, 2008 11:00 pm

cuz many of the kids at west make it a part of their daily life to be different.
aka bash mainstream.

then those who wish to maintain their "coolness" that they had back in middleschool continue to love mainstream...

meh. you get the picture, slightly?

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Sun Jul 13, 2008 4:28 pm

omg you two are like totally awesome at poetry!!!
Razz
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Sun Jul 13, 2008 6:39 pm

Cassi_Namine wrote:
omg you two are like totally awesome at poetry!!!
Razz
omg, you will be too sum day =]]

at least for dat one special poem ^^

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Sun Jul 13, 2008 9:23 pm

yay! thanks!

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I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'
--andy warhol
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Wed Aug 06, 2008 5:13 am

Are you bashing the mainstream? Are you contending that conformity is bad?
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Wed Aug 06, 2008 9:55 am

i'm saying that many kids dont want to conform here..

[color=red]in many ways, they conform in not conforming[/color]

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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Sun Aug 17, 2008 11:16 pm

Holy #$%&, "isotope," it's me--Sam! Like the poem, but it lacks true heart, which I know you have. How about a more unique approach rather than endlessly restating the whole "I am a victim" theme. After all, over 650,000 Iraqi civilians are dead while you sit happily posting your routine messages on this website. There are children in the Republic of Congo that are starving or being shot at this minute while you are not. Doesn't it stand a little questionable, given those facts, that you keep (almost defiantly) proclaiming that right this very second, you are the victim...Just something to think about.
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Mon Aug 18, 2008 1:44 pm

geez thanks sam. haha oh, well. the things we do in the past are not the best things.

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I never understood why when you died, you didn't just vanish, everything could just keep going on the way it was only you just wouldn't be there. I always thought I'd like my own tombstone to be blank. No epitaph, and no name. Well, actually, I'd like it to say 'figment.'
--andy warhol
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PostSubject: Re: quick poetry interp.?   Tue Aug 19, 2008 5:42 pm

Sorry, isotope, old pal, I don't know what was with me that day--it really IS a great poem, but I guess if I was a judge the only words that would strike me as off beat are "I am a victim." The way I see it, the poet has to make the reader (or listener) really FEEL the words coursing through their body. As a poet, your job is to make the listener understand what you're saying without ever having heard it before--which is a hard job. As the reader, I questioned wether you were in fact, as you say, a victim. And then I thought, "Well, if she is...then we all are." So for me, at least, I would have felt the poem much more easily if it was directed more at all of us than just yourself. But then again, I can be very wrong about that--in case you haven't noticed, I'm no Emily Dickinson. So...do what you feel is right for the poem, and if making the subject be "We" instead of "I" doesn't fit, then don't put it in--save it for a poem where you think it works.
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